First off I can not recommend what I did to myself to anyone, in other words don’t try this it home folks!  I decided a few years ago that my sex drive was way too high and that my constant desire for sexual pleasure and fetishes that I sought outside my marriage were in fact going to end it or get me in bigger trouble than I could handle.  I consulted my doctor who tried to help me suppress it but to not a avail.  Shortly after I found myself diving deeper into my fetishes on a personal level.  CBT was becoming a favorite of mine.  Things such as ball stretching, roping them up tightly for long periods of time and forcing them to stay further away from my body, rubber bands, and the list goes on.  Roping had become a favorite of mine.  I’d rope them up and see how how long I could go, my record was almost 8 hours.  They became dark purple and cold, which is a good indicator damage is being done.  A month or so later on down the road I was in a threesome with two other men and found I had no interest in achieving my own orgasm, just pleasing them and getting fucked.  My cock stayed limp the whole time and I didn’t care.  My doctor checked my testosterone on my next visit because I was feeling run down and experiencing impotence as well as lack of sexual desire.  Turns out my testosterone levels were cut in half.  The roping had done enough damage that my balls weren’t producing testosterone like they should.  He treated me with shots to bring it up which was fine.  I found that the testosterone injections were helping me get hard but the desire for sex wasn’t there which was also fine.  After six months my balls had shrunken to the size of small grapes and had no sensation.  Roping was just sad at this point, lol, but the desire for cbt was still there.  That’s when I discovered skewering and needle play.  At first it was merely sticking the needle in to see if I could do it and once I found out I could take it the boost in confidence was over whelming! Then I came across a story someone had posted in regards to castrating themselves using a method called “stirring”.  It involves sticking a 22g or better sized needle into the lower part of the testicle going toward the top and then slowing swirling the needle around inside as you slowly work your way back out.  I tried it and had positive results.  It created a dull ache at first and for a short time after and the testicles swelled up twice their size but within a month or two had shrunken back down and more!  I tried this method a couple of times but soon found it wasn’t all that much for me.  A friend told me about alcohol injections.  90% proof or better ever clear injected into the testicles guaranteed damage and over the course of several injections it guaranteed death to the testicles and castration.  The first time hurt like hell.  The lower back quickly developed a dull ache as well as my lower abdomen.  It felt like getting kicked In the balls by a horse. The pain subsided after an hour and my balls stayed sensitive for a day or so and had swollen up and after two weeks had gone done and shrank more.  I did a higher dose the next time after a hot bath, this seemed to make the alcohol spread faster and do more damage.  The pain was more intense but the results were worth it.  With the testosterone shots and the alcohol injections My balls were the size of almonds and had no sensation.  My sexual desire was completely shot, I was impotent even with the testosterone shots and I had experienced hot flashes as well as becoming more emotional.  Fat had redistributed itself in more feminine places and my cock had shrank as well.  I went from 5” hanging to 1” on a good day and never got hard.  Fast forward to now, my balls are below average size and don’t produce sperm or testosterone.  I can only get hard from medication and I’m off testosterone which has made me feel calmer and more submissive which makes my BBC friends happy.