Mutual confusion, that is how I would name our first steps. 
My wife never ever showed any indication she was or could be dominant. She had absolutely no clue what it means. As it goes for me, I had zero real experience. Everything I knew was only in my head and stuff that I learned from the net. 
She became very inquisitive, asking me tons of questions that I did not know how to answer. At some point, it all seemed kind of pointless and tiring, but I suppose it apperes that way for any non-vanilla rookies. Fortunately, my wife is a very intelligent and adroit. I was never present while she educated herself via net, but I knew she was doing it, since her "knowledge" increased on regular basis.
She'd also ask me to answer certain questions, but I was a bit reluctant because, to be honest, I felt a bit ashamed.
But at the same time, I felt excited and horny like never before.
To be continued...
Mark