I had no clue what subspace is, until I met my husband, boyfriend at the time. Once we began to play our kinky games and slowly dip into the FLR lifestyle, I kind of learned by myself what it exactly is. My husband never mentioned the subspace, the only info I had was from what I’ve learned thru the internet. However, it is not the same reading about it and actually experiencing it. 

On more then one occasion, I read or heard how man’s brain is in between his legs. I took that as a remark from women that get frustrated by their men, wanting only sex or single men looking for sex only. And it is probably true since I figure any man can be manipulated via sex, by a woman.

There is no much difference when it comes to men that are sexually submissive, actually the possibility to manipulate and control a sub, is probably much more intense then with vanilla men.

Simple definition of subspace would be bringing your man to the point he constantly and only wants to serve you, draws his own satisfaction from it and would agree to practically anything and everything, or in shorter term, keeping him in state of constant desire and arousal.

Also, what I have learned from my / our experience, subspace is an excellent training tool. While at it, a sub will agree to anything, and that is exactly the point of training him for the future, to obey and serve.

Of course, you cannot have your man aroused 24/7 for too long periods of time, since it is not healthy for him. But it is also a good thing to have him in what I call, residual subspace. Orgasm for a submissive is a reward, not his right. And that is where we come to ruined orgasms.

Ruined orgasms, if properly done, dilute his subspace rapidly, but as long as the orgasm is ruined, residual subspace remains as a good base for building up a new and more intense subspace.

A couple involved in practicing a real FLR on daily basis like us, will at some point reach the level where subspace or residual subspace ,becomes a major part of your man’s general behavior, or in shorter term, that side of his nature will replace any remaining defiance, his ego, his pride.

From my point of view, there are 5 crucial things for enhancing, maintaining and improving your man’s subspace, thus his train-ability and obedience, and for me they exist in this order, especially for beginners:

[good boy](https://i.redd.it/hiqlyd3ow6g31.jpg)

1. Regular communication regarding the FLR lifestyle without physical contact – do not be shy and afraid to communicate every possible aspect of your relationship, including all possible kinks and fetishes but also all other aspects outside of sexual circle.

2. Learning all of his kinks and fetishes in order to use those for building up the subspace, to a level a woman wishes. Knowledge is power.

3. A lots of physical contact with his “brain” that stirs up the subspace, and within it, even more communication. The best results are achieved if a woman has no problems communicating with her man, while he is getting aroused and slowly sinking deeper into subspace.

4. Orgasm denial and well executed ruined orgasms. I actually managed to have my man accept the fact he will never again orgasm normally, but only ruined. Of course I will not pursue that, but just his acceptance is a major training result.

5. Chastity improves behavior, increases constant arousal, provides feeling of control loss, water the subspace even when two are separated for whatever reason.