I slowly knelt on the floor in front of you, there were moments it came easy, but this wasn’t one of them. I heard it in your voice the moment it happened, the way it felt to you, and I’d offered words of reassurance, confessing how I felt about you, how I cared, but in that moment it isn’t enough. It was something that had slipped through stung you. I knew you had let it go, that you didn’t want it to mean anything, but it did, it still came through in your voice, in the way your breath sounds. I closed my eyes, I need something in this moment, I need to feel a certain thing about this, about us, and it doesn’t have to be you, but it has to be a faith, a care, that I just know is there.

My eyes close, tight, focus, shutting out the moment and just exploring what is in me, the shivers and tremors of it tingle across my skin, but I’m trying to hold those in, to not let you see them. “Yes” I whisper, wanting you, wanting to still be near you in any way I can more than anything else, and feeling like it will be okay, I trust you, have faith in you. I hear your breath when I so, the uncertainty in you fades just a bit, it is the only way and you know it to, but what I’d do or say in the moment, how can anyone ever be sure of that, but that breathe lets me know what it is; it is ragged, sadistic, an intensity you need to explore and let out, but one that filled with care – just because it has to be like this, because it is the only way, doesn’t mean you don’t care, it is just what has to happen to feel right, to feel even. And that sadism sings through you, pumping in your veins with each beat of your heart.

Your voice is rough, the care that is normally there covered by something else. I’m fighting how it feels a bit, it just is different, it’s still you, but this is harder, a question of if I really want to see all of you, if I can really take all that is there. Your hand runs down the side of my cheek, your knuckles light on the skin. At the bottom of my face your hand grasps my chin, holding my jaw, fingernails digging in like claws as you tilt my head. I’m trying to breath, but I can’t for a moment, I can feel what’s coming, your other hand moves quick and strikes across my cheek that would have sent my head rocking had it not been for your support supporting hand. Your breath comes heavier, you hold my face tight, fingers tracing the forming red marks.

"Lay down," your voice cool, demanding, and hidden. You don’t want me to see too much of something, I can see that anyway, that there is still something there, that there is a conflict in what you are feeling and how this is going, wishing I could see exactly what you need in this moment. I shiver as I lay down on the floor, feeling nothing but intensity from you. I look at you for a moment, staring up, trying to see you, to gather where you are. Your leg moves and presses against my cheek, making me look away. My body is outstretched, taut and I’m left lying there, trying to take stock of this, of you, of the moment.

“I’m sorry,” my voice a shuddering whisper. I close my eyes as I feel the tip of a crop trace along my chest. My lips bite tighter, “Hmm” your reply and then a pause and silence, I close my eyes tighter, I can hear what it is, that you need this, that this is the quickest path forward. “Yes” it is a gasp, as if I’m trying to swallow it down and have to force it out, choked just a bit by the word. I breath deep as I hear my answer hang in the air. A reign of swift blows seep across my chest, I hold still and quiet at first, till the cumulative effect has me gasping. “Mmphh” I grasp out. “Please.” I need you to respond, to hear your voice, so I can find out where you are.

“Look at you, what this is doing to you,” I know what you are talking about, I’m hard, and I don’t even know why – it isn’t a kink, it is something else, it is the intensity I feel in you, the way it matches with other places along the way, and at this feels like a lot, and I can’t help but feel it, a longing to be as close as you’ll let me, and I want to be right there with you, for everything. “What do you want?” your words come out hard, like you are spitting them at me. I feel your foot, your shoe press on my face, pressing harder into my cheek, against the tender flesh. “mmph” I gasp at it, “keep your mouth closed.” Your foot moves around my face, pressing the toe of your to my nose, letting me breath it and you in. “Lick it” you whisper, my tongue extends and I’m gasping as my tongue slides against the bottom of your shoe, wanting this, wanting you, to feel you sigh or moan, any sigh it feels good. With each taste I’m growing more desirous of you getting lost. Your foot pushes me back down, “Hmmm, this should be about me don’t you think? ”Yes” I gasp, unsure of what you need, or want. Your legs spread wider, and one foot presses on my cock, your hand moves between your legs, you finger glide against your cunt, and the first coo of pleasure.

You flick your wrist, and the crop strikes my inner thigh, my breath hisses out and your hand strikes again. “Please” You flick your wrist, and I feel the burn again. “Keep your lips on my shoe.” The crop flicks again, and again, “mmm” your movements slow as my lips press into your shoe. “Is there something you want?” your voice barely a whisper, taunting me, wanting me to call out, to let you hear the desire I’m feeling. “Please.” It’s a whisper, I am trying to stay contained. Why? The thought crosses my mind, why am I holding back, what am I afraid of you seeing? Just how much it is, how much you mean to me? “Please” its louder, the desire starting to creep out.

“Tell me what you need.” Your eyes are focused, determined, you want to take this to a certain place. “I need you.” My words are needy, I can hear it in my tone, in my shiver, in the tremble and crack of my voice. “Please.”

“Please what, what do you need? You have to tell me. Is it my shoe, is that what you’ve been missing?” You kick it off your foot, it skids halfway across the room. My eyes follow it, “it is isn’t it? Look at you, unable to pull your eyes away from it. The other follows and skids alongside it. “Not yet, don’t move.” The words are a whisper. You motion me closer. I pull my eyes from your scattered shoes, and move up towards you, unsure of what is coming. You withdraw your hand from your pants and hold your hand near my face. “Is this what you want?” I catch the faint scent of you on your fingers, then you pull them away and put them press them to your tongue. “Mmm, yummy, I taste good today.” Your words are a tease, your fingers reach out and grasp the tie on my neck as you stand up. “Go on, I know where you want to be.”

One hand in front of the other I crawl to your shoes, your glorious shoes. I stare at them, feeling the tension of the tie on my neck, holding me back. “Do you want to kiss my shoes?” your words a darting tease. I turn to look at you, a vindictive smirk creeps across your face, my eyes reach yours they turn implacable, a fiery emerald sparkle though the cool smoky iciness of your make-up. “Don’t look at me, look at them.” Your hand presses into the back of my head, grasping the bits of hair you can manage and pressing me down into then, until my nose is buried in them. I gasp for breath. That’s it, breath me in Daniel.” I catch one last look in your face, it just feels like knowing, like you see what is happening and are ready to lead every step. My eyes close and I breathe deep, pulling in the scent, the feel of you, letting the feel of it drift through my body. “Daniel” the word jars me back, shivers through me, I feel my head clear just a little. “Let me” I gasp as ‘yes’. Your knee presses into my back, hard, “Lick” Lips press to them long and slow, gliding against the smooth leather fabric. Mind and soul letting go, focusing only on this, the enjoyment it gives me, and you. The soft words and sounds emanating from her sweet lips soothing, each one coaxing him deeper into letting go. “Lick them.” Your balance shifts, I hear the wetness of fingers slipping into you, as my lips press against the shoe, tongue licking long and slow.

“Daniel” it sounds like words, I’m lost in the taste the feel, your knee presses harder, “Daniel” I still just lick and kiss, “Daniel.” Your knee digs in, “mphff” I just call out. “where did you go?” I’m on the edge, and can barely talk, I just breath. “Daniel” I feel dreamy and wobbly, “tell me what you want.” Your lips break into a smile, “you still with me? Don’t float away yet, stay with me just a bit more.” Your hand runs along my chin, a light and teasing touch. You step back pulling me towards you, my eyes on yours, “lay down” it’s a whisper, your hand guide my head into the box, and then you close the lid around it. “You have to ask,” it’s a whisper, it’s the first time I’ve been here, in this spot, looked into this box, and you want to know I want to be here, you want to hear it.