Sorry English is not my native language, I used a translator!

This story is not mine!

I lost my testicles to school violence at a young age.

I had just celebrated my 18th birthday when she castrated me.

It started with my first love.

I'm an art student studying ballet. In our small city, there are not many children who learn ballet, and boys are even rarer. I was the only boy in our school ballet class.

Boys learn ballet in the eyes of others may be more alternative, wearing very tight and thin pants and a room full of girls in class, usually in addition to practice or practice, the day is boring. In addition, I am introverted, not many friends around, life is always a loner. But I love dancing very much, like to stretch their limbs wantonly, like the feeling of flying in the air. In order to stand on the stage one day, no matter how hard and tired I can bear. I also like sports. I am good at track and field ball games. I have won awards in the city for sprint badminton. But my favorite sport is football, the thrill of working hard and sweating on the pitch is very enjoyable. The school football team is quite famous in our country, the coach saw my good level and physical quality and invited me to join the team many times, but doing too much exercise in ballet may affect the control of muscle shape, by contrast, I still prefer to spend time on dancing, so I declined the invitation of the football team. At that time, the days were simple and full, the first to go to the classroom every day, the evening self-study culture class until late, and occasionally go to the football field to play and sweat.

My heterosexual edge has been very good, more popular with girls, there are always girls like to chat with me, probably because my image is good, thick eyebrows and eyes, lips and white teeth, long-term dance training and like sports, body shape and temperament better than the people around, middle school has been said to be school grass. At that time, the body was well practiced, the muscles were well-proportioned and slender, the whole body did not have a trace of redundancy, the chest muscles, the abdominal muscles and the buttocks were very strong and beautiful, even the dance teacher had praised. When I first came to school, I was hot, and I only wore a protective body to practice, and the results were secretly taken when the beautiful photos were circulated among the students, and I dare not wear too little when practicing, because there are always girls peeking through the window. Not only dancing, but also many students came to see me during the game. My legs have grown much more than those of other men, and some taller than me have legs inferior to mine. Because of the long legs and feel more embarrassed is that others are suitable for football shorts I wear very short, like three-point pants, thighs are completely exposed, plus my skin is relatively white, at that time the cheerleading girls gave me the nickname "white legs prince". I've been getting love letters from girls since middle school. But I wasn't really in love at the time, and I didn't have a relationship in high school.

Until I met her, the peace of life was suddenly shattered.

I remember it was the first Saturday morning in April, just after dawn, and as usual, I went to the dance room to do my morning exercises. Push the door in, usually empty classroom, today there is a girl. Seeing her back, I froze there, heard the voice, the girl also looked at the door. The morning wind blows the curtains, a few pink petals fall on the windowsill, a faint lilac breath. Her white forehead perspiration stuck a few thin black hair, pink jumpsuit like the petals, slender waist beautiful instep. After many years, I still remember that she was the most beautiful girl I had ever met.

"Do you practice kung fu too?" Look at me staring at her, she did not turn her face, her cheeks were clearly red, just like the petals of the day. I felt my heart race like never before.

We spent the rest of the morning in the corner of the classroom chattering about everything from ballet to school, past experiences to future imaginings. I want to know everything about the girl in front of me. From birth to now, she is cheerful and humorous. She had just transferred from the high school back home and was a few months older than me. She said that the first time she met a boy her age who danced ballet, she thought the dancing boys would be very feminine, not at all.

We practice together every day, study together, eat together, and walk around the campus hand in hand like a real couple. She always pesters me to take her to watch me play, see me in a white shirt her face is red, I play when she quietly sat on the sidelines to watch me. She likes to pull me to learn the action of the book dance duet, although no one to guide, always bump, but two people in the dance studio intimate practice dance is really very romantic and warm.

She often said that I look like a Korean star, especially some like Yuan Bin, said that I am the most handsome boy she has ever met, said that I like my body, from waist to legs, is simply a natural dancer. I was a little shy and said I had a nice ass and was prettier than those ballet stars on TV.

Her favorite ballet is "Romeo and Juliet", she said imagine the story as desperate for love, said the same in the future when there is a chance to dance Juliet, Romeo will be me.

Once, as we sat resting after a dance, I kissed her gently on the cheek. Blushing, she took my hand, pulled me to a corner of the dressing room, put her soft lips on it, and kissed me together, that moment was really confused, as if time had stopped. Although I don't know too much truth at 16 or 17, I understand that I fell in love with this girl. I swore to be with her for the rest of my life, to cherish her and protect her.

I feel so happy to dance with her, to touch her and hold her, she is so charming, and to do intimate gestures with her can make me blush. I would like her to pull me around crazy, like her bright smile when she looks at me, like to say from her mouth that I am the most handsome and sunny boy she has met. I know she likes me. The days with her were dreamlike sunny summer days.

But beautiful dreams are so fragile, and I never expected that my dream broke so violently.

My girlfriend had an ex-girlfriend, and yes, she was bisexual.

Her ex-girlfriend came with her from home. She played soccer in a sports school near us with a bad school spirit. She was poor in school, but she was arrogant with a few dollars at home. That is, the so-called "big sister", co-opted a group of girls around to bully classmates, many people are afraid of her. But she also has a special charm on her body, which is very popular with girls.

They dated for a while.

Her ex-girlfriend has a bad character, is always surrounded by various lovers, and has a violent personality, and finally they broke up. But the ex-girlfriend was insistent and forced my girlfriend to remain her girlfriend. I heard she beat up all the guys who went after my girlfriend. Not only did she make trouble at my girlfriend's school, she followed her after she couldn't stand the change.

Knowing my girlfriend's experience I was very angry, I did not know that there would be such a domineering scum. Every time I see her shaking with fear when she gets a text from that ex-girlfriend, I get so upset. I am a man, and I will stand in front of her to protect my beloved girl from further harassment and threats. I called the person, told her about my relationship with the girl, and warned her not to come back. But there was no intention of giving up, but shouted abuse. And she's turned on me ever since.

She sent me notes threatening to break up with her, and she started lying about how I seduced his girlfriend, how I broke them up in all sorts of dirty ways. Some of them from her sports school came after me, too. I did not want to talk to her again, after all, I like the girl once classmates, I hope we get along well. But she wouldn't stop.

Once I was resting on the ground after practicing with her in the dance room, I couldn't help but hug her and kiss her. I was so excited that I fell on top of her, and we made out for a while. Embarrassingly, at this time, a girl in her class who had found the wrong classroom pushed the door in. Wearing tight pants, I suddenly looked at the lower half of the body did not wear clothes, but also pressed her under. I hastened to explain, but somehow the story got out. A lot of people believe I had sex with her. Word got back to the guy in a few days, and then she added to it, said I raped his girlfriend, and started a riot in the dean's office at our school. It's just weird. But a lot of people didn't know me, and they were prejudiced against boys who did ballet, and they didn't understand that boys wore leggings, and just because I looked like I was in the middle, they thought I had a private life. It led to me and her being pointed at at school, very embarrassing, and speechless. Some of the top gangsters at her sports school sent word that they were gonna beat me up.

Within a week, she brought several people to our school and called me out when I was playing football. She looks scary. Several girls surrounded me in the corner. She used profanity, groped me, and asked me "how many times I slept with her." I angrily told her: "I love her, she is my girlfriend, I and her on the bed or not, it has nothing to do with you!" This sentence annoyed her, she actually took advantage of my surprise, a deep cut into my crotch, through a thin layer of football shorts to pinch my organs. The intense pain made me scream. I struggled to pull her hand away from under me, and my legs buckled in pain and I fell to my knees, clutching my nakedness.

They all piled up and kicked me in the abdomen, back and lower body. She was even more brutal with her foot on my face, said to me, "I see you look very pure, how to be so shameless?" You can't control your own pussy, can you? How dare a pretty boy bully me? Today is a lesson to you. If you're smart, break up with her in a week, or I'll cut your balls off! If you touch her, I'll cut you!" And then she punched me in the crotch.

Hearing that I was beaten, my girlfriend ran to the playground like crazy, and saw that I was beaten black and blue with blood on my face, and my white jersey and socks were covered with blood and shoe prints. She hugged me and cried. I told her that I had no regrets, that I would never give in, that I would never give up my love no matter what she did to me.

She helped me limp to the infirmary to clean the wound. I took off my clothes and she helped me rub iodine on the injured area. I saw her face was red and asked her what was wrong, she shyly said: "Did she hit you there?" Does it hurt?" "HMM."

Looking at her pink cheeks and white legs under the pleated skirt, I felt as if I was enchanted, my body seemed to be controlled, the impulse could not be suppressed. When no one was around, I carried her to the corner of the curtain. I kissed her white neck. She did not resist. I stroked her body all around and lifted her skirt. I entered a girl's body for the first time and had the most intimate contact with her.

After our first taste of the forbidden fruit, we both became even more uncontrollable. A month before and after, she and I happened several times at school, very warm and exciting. Seventeen or eighteen impulsive age, sex for both of us both mysterious and seductive, passion over shame, after being catalyzed by love more uncontrollable, we more and more uncontrollable themselves. There was even a weekend when I stole into the girls' dormitory while she was alone at school, and I also had a passion in the woods beside the court after playing football. I know there's no compulsion between me and her, and she loves the experience. I didn't know anything about hygiene or contraception at that time, and now I think I was very irresponsible.

Since the physical relationship, she has become different to me, often take the initiative to ask me, and often some small movements when practicing dance. She said she was fascinated by my body and loved to touch every inch of my skin. I was crazy about her, I felt like I had her, I felt so happy, so happy that I thought all the pain was over.

The most memorable day was my birthday. After the class, I chatted with her until late at night. Turn off the lights, the sky is full of stars outside the French window of the dance room, and the moon shines on our faces. "Happy birthday" she said to me, "I love you" I said to her. I put my arms around her and kissed her passionately. We were both wearing thin tights, and I could feel her warm body, feel the curves of her body, and it was even more intense. She actively touched my sensitive areas and tore at my tights. We went from caressing to tangled on the floor. That night, romantic and passionate, even crazy. We enjoyed love with our most youthful and beautiful bodies.

That was the last time I made out with her.

I had no idea that what happened to me a few days later would leave me incapable of pursuing that kind of happiness.

I'll never forget June 18th, a week after my 18th birthday.

That morning, she went home to see her parents, I was alone in the classroom to practice early.

Because I will participate in an off-campus cultural festival performance next week, I seize the time to practice the movement, just the costume needed for the performance has just arrived, I am ready to put on a try. The custom costume for the show is simple, but I like the style, a white spandex bodysuit, the upper body is some low-cut vest and the lower body is big socks. The fabric of the tights is smooth and shiny in the sun. On the feet to wear a cat claw bottom long ballet boots, boots are professional performance, soft and tight, the color is light can detect the bright silver, very beautiful. I thought she'd love it. I wanted to show it to her when she got back. However, after trying on that day, I felt that the dress size was small, wearing too tight, the lower body was too close to the body was uncomfortable, the private parts were suddenly in a lump, from the back of the tights clip in the buttocks is completely like no clothes, and the upper vest is too low and the straps are too thin, the chest is naked. Even though I usually wear tight clothes, I blush when I look at my near-naked self in the mirror, and it would make me shy to go to a public performance dressed like this. But little did I know that this very, very ill-fitting leotard would be the last leotard I would wear as a complete man, as a ballerina.

When I was just dressed and thinking about changing, the door of the dance room was kicked open, and it was her, followed by two thugs who had surrounded me last time. All of them are menacing. It's scary to see them.

I said, "How did you get in here? This is the dance room." She only said: "is to beat you here!"

Several people around me in the middle, she came up to my stomach is a kick, I was kicked by her pain straight bend. Then a couple of girls kicked and punched me, really hard, and hit me in my vital places. One of the girls stuck her arm under my armpit from behind and twisted my arms so hard to lift me up that I could only point on my toes. She walked up to me, grabbed my hair, and punched me in the stomach. My eyes were black, and I was bent over. She saw that I was in pain and punched me several times. Blood was running down the corners of my mouth. She pulled my lower body tights, "wear a lot of fun ah, also make a silver sock, you do duck?" The most dislike you dancing, a man wearing such tight pants, bare buttocks exposed XX, evil is not disgusting. Is that how you seduce her?"

Professional male ballet dancers wear a very tight and thin lower body, and I am developing early, the lower body is a little exaggerated, but her lewd attention made me angry. "You're a big thing, aren't you ashamed to show it like that?" She pointed at my crotch, laughed with the other person on the side, touched my thigh, crotch and buttocks with her hands, and poked my pussy with her fingers. "You rascals! Bastard!" I was shy and angry and struggling. She went so far as to put her hand between my legs and grab my vital organs from below. The intense pain made me scream. I never expected to be subjected to such a vicious humiliation, she held my two testicles in the palm of my hand and twisted them, and insulted my genitals and anus with her fingers. She had the audacity to pinch my testicles and laugh, "Now what can you do?"What about hooking up?" . Watching me writhing in pain and moaning with sweat and pain on my face, the other two people were laughing backwards and forwards, one was holding me and the other was slapping me in the mouth. She pressed me, "Will you break up with her?" The strength of her hand suddenly increased, and her talon-like fingers tormented my testicles, pinching and crushing, and the pain was more than I could bear. I clenched my teeth, tears welling in my eyes. I squeezed the word "Never!" between my teeth.

At the time, I fully thought that she was just insulting me in such a perverted way to make me suffer and force me to give up. I guess, for love, what's the humiliation of having your crotch ripped out? In the face of the rival must insist, can not yield, bite the teeth in the past. I just want to fight for breath, for her, I want to fight with the rival. At that time, all I could think about was that beautiful girl, and I just wanted to be with her quickly, and I didn't care about my own danger. I gritted my teeth and said, "Even if you destroy me, I love her, and she won't like you." She was furious when she heard this. "You farted! I will help you, and I will destroy your eggs today!" She lunged at me like a wild animal, tearing at my tights, pushing me against my chest, and pushing me against the wooden door at the back of the classroom, where the other two girls rudely grabbed my legs, twisted my thighs apart, held them against me, and ripped my arms from above. I was pinned to the wall, limb apart.

"What do you want?"

'I'll let you know!

She grabbed me by the shoulders with both hands, then lifted her right knee towards my uncovered vagina and delivered a vicious blow...... She is a trained athlete, strong and strong, with very strong thigh muscles and very strong knees. My organs took a hard hit, and my left testicle exploded with a sharp pain, and the pain was like tearing my insides out. At that moment, my eyes were black, my ears were ringing, my heart was beating, and I couldn't breathe. That is, after all, the vital point of men, ah, the fatal blow, my lower body immediately went limp, legs trembled and could not stand, the body slid straight down. But her strong hands took my shoulders and tore at my body, forcing my feet off the ground against the door. Being kicked in the lower body by her, the most painful is not pain, but the kind of helplessness and humiliation, there is no more cruel humiliation for a man, I can only look up at the ceiling.

"Break up with her! ?" The pain drained my strength, and I had no energy to say another word. When she saw that I didn't answer, she gave me another knee in the crotch, and then another knee......

For a long, long time after that, I went through purgatory. She was like crazy, all over me, holding me down. Below, her strong and powerful knees repeatedly slammed into my crotch, very fierce, like a pile driver. My rock-hard knees hit my tight-fitting testicle with almost every accurate kick. She beat me and said to herself, "Today I will castrate you and make you a eunuch." "Don't you love her? See how you will love her after "......

At that time, I had no idea that she would do this to me. The physical torture was about to tear me apart, the pain was not limited to the testicles, the five viscera were like being torn by 脔割, the pain was not acceptable to human beings at all, I could not wait to breathe to relieve the pain. But the deep sense of humiliation is more deadly than the physical pain, and the most important and private parts of men are so mutilated by her, and all the dignity of men is gone. My tears are rolling in my eyes but I can't cry. I was vague, on the edge of fainting, but still clearly felt that the next heavy impact, the pubic area was kicked by her more than 20 times, each is a tearing heart crack lung for a long time the sharp pain......

She was really too hard and too poisonous, kicking me into the dirt and killing me, and the huge knee strength pushed my legs into the air, and the blood seemed to rush from the abdominal cavity to the head. She grabbed my shoulders with both hands, and she cut my skin, and I was bleeding. I had my butt against the wooden door, and she hit me in the crotch, and the wooden door banged. My sweat was pouring down the door and all over the floor. Later, it was found that because she was so strong, the wooden door locks were torn off, and the door was also kicked into a large hole. She took out all her hatred for me on my genitals. I knew then that I was finished. I tried to fight as hard as I could, but the pain was so bad that I couldn't use any energy...... But I didn't ask her for mercy the whole time, not even a cry of pain.

The dance classroom where I put my beautiful vision has become the execution ground for her to torture me. I don't know if she chose this place specifically, but she destroyed not only my body, dignity and love, but also my dreams.

Later, when she was tired of kicking me, she threw me on the ground, stomped hard on my pussy, and watched me roll over with my legs in my crotch in pain.

I thought it was over, but the nightmare was just beginning. The two girls who came with her, they pulled me up from the ground in a brutal way, one of them grabbed my arms from behind, grabbed them behind me, and lifted them up to get my feet off the ground, and the other one came up to me and tried to open my legs, and I knew what they were going to do, they were going to clamp their thighs and cover their privates. She grabbed my leg and tried to break it, and when she couldn't open it, she pestled my stomach with her fist. And then she kicked me in the crotch with her knee and her foot even harder. They have no quarrel with me, I don't even know them...... I don't know how many kneecaps they took in my penis. When they were done, they threw me on the floor again, and three of them surrounded me and kicked me and stomped on my stomach and my crotch and my face until I was covered in bruises.

But they still do not solve the anger, find a mop, crazy from behind me wrapped in tights inserted into my ass for a long time.

Those three motherfuckers brutally beat me up for almost an hour. I do not know for what purpose, they several after I did not leave immediately, but squatted down to touch my genitals, when they squeezed my scrotum through the big socks, I still remember several people smirked. Then they did not call anyone, nor did they take me to the hospital, but quietly left.

I lay alone on the cold floor for five or six hours, after noon was found by my classmates. It is said that I was very miserable, hands tightly covered the lower body and the whole body shrank into a ball, the white tights were beaten through by sweat and dry, became translucent close to the body, the crotch stained with blood. His face was white, she was convulsing, she was breathing intermittently, and she was unconscious.

Classmates back me to the infirmary, the school doctor checked my cardiac arrest low blood pressure, thought I was a heart attack, treatment for a long time did not improve before I was sent to the hospital. To the hospital is already late at night, the doctor found that my genitals were seriously injured, emergency surgery. Later pressed the family doctor to know that when sent to the hospital to cut my big socks and protective body, the doctor was shocked, my whole genitals were hit and changed, and the scrotal hematoma was serious. On examination, they found that both my testicles had been shattered.

When the scrotum was surgically opened, both of my testicles suffered severe blunt trauma, and the most tragic comminence injury. Other people have a bad accident that results in a testicle rupture with a tear in the sheath, whereas mine was torn to shreds. The left testicle was repeatedly crushed with a blunt instrument, and there's no molded pieces in the scrotum, not even the epididymis, just a pool of black blood. Fragments of the right testicle are scattered throughout the scrotum, but sadly most of the tissue is dead. The doctor said the boy's testicles were mobile and would have broken only after an extremely violent impact. It would have been very difficult for her to hit my right testicle with her right knee in my crotch, unless she hit me with her other leg. She was trying to break both my testicles! And my testicles were smashed into a state that doctors haven't seen in decades.

My penis is also badly damaged. At that time, they humiliated my genitals with their hands, made my penis engorged, and then I was hit by the knee, and I actually broke my penis. Fortunately, the ballerina's penis placed upward is not seriously injured, so it will not be removed like testicles. But to my great shame, I almost lost the ability to get an erection.

Under normal circumstances, such intense pain would have caused the victim to go into shock. But I, perhaps because of my good health, was awake all the time when my two testicles were broken...... For nearly half an hour at her hands, I endured the excruciating pain of a shattered testicle while watching my other get destroyed. Later, the X-ray found that not only my genitals were badly mutilated, my pubic bone was broken, my pelvis was misaligned... What indelible hatred makes her so cruel!

With my injury at that time, the risk of direct resection would be much less. It was a pity for the doctors and nurses to see me, and they took the initiative to give me conservative treatment and tried their best to repair the wound and save my function. But my left testicle has been broken out of shape, basic necrosis, can only give up, most of the right testicle is broken and necrosis, only a little bit of the size of the small finger belly can be saved. I knew that the doctors knew that repairing a testicle this small wouldn't do much good, but they were trying to preserve the last bit of sexual function for me. But after several surgeries, repeated infections, high fever, I was tortured out of shape. After all, my injuries were too severe, and I was brought to the hospital too late, and the only small part of my right testicular tissue eventually failed and had to be tragically removed. Finally, at the age of 17, I lost the ability to reproduce, and was cruelly robbed of sexual function by a love rival.

The nurse sister who accompanied me that day looked at me and sighed, "A very spirited young man, how can she be made like this?" And then she comforted me, she cheered me up, she bought me a lot of food. I heard that the day I had my final resection, several of the young nurses cried.

I never understood why every time she hit me, she targeted my genitals. Does she know what it means to destroy a man's genitals?! I just feel so guilty, what did I do to deserve to kick my testicles? I only pursue my love, why should I lose my ability to be a man?

After the first surgery, I didn't know what kind of damage she had done to my genitals, and I cautiously asked the doctor if I could ever have a girlfriend. Then I gradually realized that she had destroyed my genitals and that I no longer had the functions of a man. For the first few days I was lucky that medicine was so advanced that it could cure me. Later, the severe postoperative reaction was unbearable, and several times I was passed out by the pain, and the doctor gave me several injections of demerol to stop the pain. I gradually understand that my body can not be saved, that is the real despair, but I always did not cry, more time is also want to cry without tears. By the third week, the infection had become so severe that it threatened my life that I had to go ahead with the surgery to remove my organs. I grabbed the doctor's coat and begged her not to cut it again. I was naive to the idea that a little organization, if not function, was proof that I was still a man. But in the end there was nothing doctors could do.

Being humiliated in this way, especially by a "love rival" who bullied me so that I could not even be a man, I felt that I had no dignity.

I tried to kill myself many times, but I couldn't.

After a painful struggle I was determined to live. I think I am still a man, can not let others look down on me, can not let the animal beat me, she took away the happiness of the second half of my life, can not die for her.

What broke my heart was that I lost the girl I loved the most, and I never got to see her again, and I was afraid to let her see me as I am now, and the shame was so great that I couldn't face her. Listen to the classmate said that at first she knew I was beaten, anxious to ask around which hospital I was in, then she knew I was beaten testicles, hiding in the dormitory crying, refused to come out for a few days, over and over again to see my photos. I cried for a long time knowing her condition, even though I had not shed a tear from the inhuman torture. I missed her, wanted to hold her again, wanted to marry her, but I knew it was impossible.

Later, she transferred to another school and left.

The school said that I was injured in a fight with classmates outside the school, covering the fact that I was brutally beaten down, and that I should not tell other students about my broken testicles, saying that I fell and touched it when practicing dance. Later, the police investigated them and said that I provoked students from other schools and had a bad life before I was beaten. I still remember the director's words, "Others hurt their arms and legs in a fight, why did they break her genitals?" Think of it as something about men and women." They almost uniformly described the man's one-sided beating of me as a student fight. What saddens me the most is that they are just as discriminating against boys like me who study ballet as the thugs. I dance in pants that are so tight, the bottom is exposed, and it's inevitable that I hurt my genitals in fights. The beautiful clothes were described as indecent.

As the school blocked the news, my classmates did not know what was going on, and all kinds of speculation and rumors sprang up. Some say I had sex with a bunch of school girls to get revenge, some say I slept with the lover of a wealthy businessman who got so angry she sent his men to castrate me. All kinds of theories, but it's because I can't control the bottom of the mess. Only I know what this is all about.

The girl who hit me was taken away by the police the next day, but she was released on bail a few days later. She got even prouder when she got out, spreading the word that I was castrated by her, making up a bunch of lies about me. She has never apologized for beating me, and she thinks I seduced her girlfriend and deserved to be beaten. She even quibbled that I moved the hand first, she fought me, saying that she just wanted to kick my abdomen, was accidentally hurt my pussy, and did not know my testicular injury. I felt very angry, she kicked me so many times, each kick in my vital parts, how could it be accidentally? And in my vague memory, when she was beating me up, she used to open my hands and grab my organs, and she was obviously checking my genitals and she was kicking me, how could she not know that my testicles had been destroyed by her?

Finally, because I had only removed a testicle at that time, the identification of the disability level was light, and she was a few months short of 18 years old, the person who beat me was sentenced to a very light sentence, supervised for more than a year and went to school normally, and later went abroad.

And I, since then, have lost almost everything, 18 years of youth, the body was mutilated, lost sexual function. Once praised by teachers and classmates for my good body and good skills, I can no longer put on tights and go on stage to dance my beloved ballet. I have kept the silver ballet boots I was wearing when I was beaten, it was my dream after all.

Later, I was admitted to the university of Beijing with very good results, far away from that sad city.

Years later, the physical pain still haunts me from time to time, the wounds occasionally painful, muscle strength loss is severe. But the most terrible is the psychological pain, every time I see my body, tears in my eyes. Every time I dream in the middle of the night, the pain and despair of the beating is like a nightmare moment. The original sunny and cheerful character has become fragile and sensitive. Afraid of being brought up about it, afraid of being looked down upon. I still miss her sometimes, but I don't want to bother her anymore.

During college, there were girls who showed me affection and even confessed their love, but I could only politely refuse. I don't want to hold up those girls, because I'm disabled, and I shouldn't hurt anyone else. In my heart, it is true that she still can not let go, that feeling is difficult to replace.

I hate the person who hurt me, but life goes on, so what about hate? I just wish I could forget all this and live my life like a normal man.