I don't know if this is the right place to put it but I guess it's ok.

I developed this fantasy after the guy who SAd me was castrated. I was SAd a few years ago by my ex friend, he was someone I trusted a lot and he broke my trust. In my country, both surgical and chemical castration are legal, so I pursued the option of surgical castration and it went through. It was initially something I felt guilty about, because I knew he would never be able to have sex again or anything like that. But a lot of my friends convinced me and told me that going that option would be a good thing. And the anger kept building up. I felt bad because he is my friend and I know he told me he would give anything for me not to do that but I still did it anyways. I guess I didn't really care at that rate. I have a lot of anger towards him but I don't care. Apparently before the procedure he had to be restrained because he tried to escape and was screaming. That honestly fills me with joy. 

Anyways, I'm glad he isn't able to ever use it again. But in the wake of it I developed a fantasy for all of this. But mostly towards men who hurt other women like that. I imagine a lot of gruesome things. I'm a sweetheart IRL but this is how I channel my anger.