Quality Control, Chapter 4: Sterilizer™ Comprehensive Batch Test, Part 1
Cathy tapped at the control pad to start up her fourth test of the day.
This time, not one, but five naked men rolled into her lab, bound on their frames with their knees pulled back especially high, allowing their variously sized and shaped manhoods to drop down. Hairy, smooth, giant, and tiny, the ten testicles before her spanned the spectrum of manhood. Their owners were varied too, white and black and Asian, cut or uncut, smiling cockily or trembling in fear.
Olivia opened up the package from the pneumatic tube, and five familiar little devices tumbled out, plastic tools about the size and shape of a taser, but with tight snubbed ends so they could more easily slip between a man’s thighs. She smiled in recognition of the five copies of her favorite self-defense tool, the Sterilizer.
“Uh, ma’am. What are those for?” A young Asian guy from the end of the row asked her. He was obviously a bit anxious at the sight of the innocent-looking manhood enders, and his balls were shriveled up tight against his body.
“Ooh, a comprehensive batch test. These are always fun. Here, I'll show you how it works.” Cathy picked up a Sterilizer and walked up to the quivering man. He shivered in the breeze, his testicles retracting further as she brought the taser right up to his crotch. He didn't have the largest balls of the five men, but they were larger than most for sure. Tightly pressed against his body, rolling around in his hairless pink ballsack, they were clearly packed full of cum and hormones, a perfect vision of healthy masculinity. It made Olivia nauseous, and a bit annoyed, but she had a feeling he'd be out of the gene pool very soon.
“The point of this test is to find out the rate of faulty production. The Sterilizer certainly isn't a prototype, like the SeedSpray bots were. We’re producing thousands per day, and selling them about as fast as we can make them. This test is a diagnostic to give us data on how many of them are performing as expected.”
She flicked the setting to HIGH and tapped its trigger. Electricity arced loudly between its prongs, filling the lab with a smell of ozone. The Asian stud’s eyes went wide.
“What…what the fuck is that? Are you going to use that on my balls?!”
“Quiet. You're just here for a quick test. You'll get your payout soon enough.” Cathy gave his balls a vicious backhand. He gasped in pain, and they got slightly looser.
“Although this one is so short you’re definitely going to have another before we let you go. We’re not going to break your balls or anything, and you’ll be receiving minimal permanent damage. We’re not going to liquify your testicles, or slice them in half, or pull them until their cords snap.”
“Oh…thank God.” His balls sagged, a physical reflection of his relief at hearing that news. “I’d heard so many weird things and rumors, but I really need the money...”
“I can almost guarantee this test won’t damage your testicles’ structural integrity at all. It’ll just shut them down for the rest of your life!”
“What?” He shrieked, but Cathy ignored him and turned back to Olivia.
“As I'm sure you know, we guarantee a Sterilizer will permanently shut down an attacker’s fertility with five seconds of contact at the HIGH setting.”
“No. You can’t….you’re not serious.” The man was clearly getting more anxious.
“It's your job to find out how often our factory doesn't hit that mark, and collect the duds to send back for analysis. So, you just pick up a Sterilizer, pick a test subject, and —”
“No, no no no please don’t! JESUS CHRIST DON’T —”
Cathy jammed the vicious little taser into the man's testicles and pressed the trigger.
“AAAAAAHHHHH my BALLS! MY FUCKING BALLS! OH GOD THEY'RE BOILING! THEY'RE BURNING, PLEASE!!!” The man's screams were nearly loud enough to drown out the wet-lightning sound of the taser incinerating his sperm count. The projected display started a five-second countdown as soon as the prongs made contact with his precious gonads, and Olivia watched with fascination as the bar representing his sperm count reached zero just as the count finished.
Cathy pulled the taser away, electricity still arcing from the prongs to his scrotum. His balls sagged down, unnaturally droopy and bulging with newly formed lumps, presumably from where the boiling sperm inside had created a small pocket of spermatic vapor. Black scorch marks tracked the thin skin of his scrotum, and a faint smell of burnt hair filled the room.
“My…my balls…what did you do?” The man's voice was high-pitched and defeated. As if to answer him, his penis suddenly twitched to life and spasmed, drooling a thin watery line of infertility in a sick parody of a true cumshot.
“See this?” Cathy tapped at his sperm count indicator, which helpfully flashed 0%, next to a smiling emoji. “This one's functioning perfectly. He’s perfectly, irreversibly sterile now.”
The man stared despairingly at the number.
“Kids…what? I wanted…I wanted kids. What the fuck? I need a doctor…I need to leave. The contract didn't say…”
“I assure you, your contract was as informative as anyone else's! And a doctor isn't going to reverse having your gonads fried like that. There are a number of understanding adoption clinics around town, if you’re still interested in having a family.”
“Oh God why…please, just let me go…”
“Nope! Like I said, your balls are still intact, if a little less lively. You're off to your next test. Trust me, this one might've hurt, but at least it was quick. The next test, or tests, likely won't be.”
She turned to Olivia as the man began to sob. “Would you like to try the next one?”
“Yes, please!” Olivia eagerly selected another Sterilizer and walked up to the next guy, who was staring at his compatriot’s droopy, inert testicles in horror.
He was a skinny brown-skinned guy, Hispanic or Middle Eastern maybe, his thick cock dwarfing his medium-sized gonads, which snugged tightly against his crotch. The man was trembling and whispering something Olivia couldn’t quite understand. Hairy and sweaty as his testicles were, Olivia wrinkled her nose in disgust. She didn't even want to get close to touching the disgusting pair. But she had a job to do. She reluctantly pressed the Sterilizer against his doomed ballsack, the two organs inside pulling themselves up even tighter against his body, and pressed the trigger.
Another harsh crackling jolted out from the device, and he convulsed and screamed, sobbing when she finally pulled her hand away from his electrocuted testicles. When she saw the readout, Olivia groaned in annoyance. His fertility sat at an unsatisfyingly healthy 20%, the frowny emoji next to it matching her own disappointment.
“Ugh. This one's a dud! He's still sorta fertile.”
“Oh my God…oh my God. Thank God.“ The man was gasping from the pain, but his tears appeared to be of joy and relief rather than life-ruining depression. “I can have kids. I’m an only child, I'm my parents’ only hope, my family name…thank God. Thank Jesus fucking Christ.”
“Not quite,” said Cathy. “Those lil gonads got so nervous, they pulled themselves to safety. You didn't quite make full contact with his nuts. Try again on the next guy.”
“Can I at least —” Olivia gestured hopefully at the barely alive gonads before her.
“Please…don’t…”
“Finish him off? Sure thing. It’s not meaningful data — but I get it, I’m a total completionist too.”
“NOOOOOO!”
Olivia tapped the Sterilizer against his bloated scrotum, the wet screeching of the electricity nearly drowning out his cries of despair. His fertility dropped all the way to the right in the blink of an eye, apparently only hanging on to life by a thread after her first mistake.
Satisfied, Olivia rolled her chair over to the next set of testicles. This boy’s balls were especially large and totally hairless, gently rolling back and forth in their droopy sack as they adjusted to the temperature, the barest dusting of tightly trimmed red pubes standing out against his ghostly-white, blue-veined manhood. Their owner was starting to hyperventilate. Olivia looked up at him and grinned.
“Please.” His voice was weak. She stared up at him, smiling and silent, until he met her eyes. She waited, longer and longer, his balls sagging with relaxation as he allowed himself to hope that maybe, just maybe, she'd be kind to him. He was kinda cute, after all…
Right as she could see the hope start to bloom back in his eyes, she stabbed the Sterilizer directly into the backsides of his testicles, right next to the electrodes monitoring their health.
“Wait, Olivia, not there!”
But Olivia was too focused on making up for her previous mistake to hear her supervisor. Even after he was neutered, she held the taser pressed firmly into his epididymis, watching with glee as his fertility immediately shot to zero. She held it firmly in place for the full five seconds, the tangled squiggle of important plumbing tied to the backs of his nuts squirming and twisting like they were alive beneath the massive current running through them until something snapped wetly and they sagged unmoving.
When she pulled her hand away, the formerly impressive undercarriage sagged even lower, slack and softened and clearly dead. Their hunky owner lolled limply in his restraints, fully unconscious and drooling out of the corner of his mouth. She'd shocked him so hard, not only had his fertility been zeroed out, but his testosterone and various other irreplaceable hormones had taken a very healthy hit as well. Olivia beamed with pride at Cathy.
“Did I do it right that time?”
The manager winced and shook her head. “I'm afraid not, although I understand the enthusiasm. See, we need to make sure that our Sterilizers work as intended regardless of positioning. You obviously know that destroying his epididymides is the most direct way to zap a man out of the gene pool.” The man behind Olivia gurgled miserably, unconscious but still slightly twitching.
“But in a self-defense situation you might not get the chance to aim that carefully. So we need to do our tests on the most resilient region of the testicle to make sure every Sterilizer’s max-power zap really erases his manhood — no matter where they make contact.”
“Oh,” said Olivia.
“It's alright, these are just practice balls anyway.”
“Practice balls?”
“According to the fine print on their contract, we don't actually have to pay them out unless we run a real product test, so these won’t cost us anything.”
“Oh. Smart!”
The two conscious test subjects just stared at Cathy in despair at the news that they wouldn't even get paid for their agony and loss. The third was lucky enough to still loll mindlessly on his frame.
“Try the next one, dear.”
Olivia was disappointed, but determined to do it right. Lining up the next Sterilizer with her next pair of testicles, a tiny pair the shape and size of peas dangling between two skinny, trembling thighs, she aimed for the largest, flattest region she could find.
“Please, I'm a virgin…”
“Oh, I bet you are, little dick.” Olivia carefully lined up her prongs with both of his shriveled gonads, then jammed it forward.
His sounds were inhuman, somehow even more pathetic than the others so far. “Aughhlgiuhalgluh! AIIIIIII! IT BURNS! MY BAAAWWALLS, THEY’RE BOILING! OH GOD, THEY’RE BOILING! I CAN’T —”
Olivia watched with satisfaction as his balls squirmed and writhed, their internals roiling and splitting beneath the current, until suddenly —
Splat — SPLURT!
They gave way entirely, the two round bumps becoming abruptly indistinguishable. He bucked forward, grunting and squealing, as his cock stiffened and fired off a blast of cum.
“Eek! Ew ew ew!” Olivia hadn’t moved out of the way in time, and the first stripe of his last cumshot had painted her face before she ducked. She moved back and out of the line of fire as the man continued to tremble and ejaculate, his shattered testicles evacuating every drop of sperm before settling low and mushy in his slack sack. Looking down at his crotch, he wailed, then finally passed out.
“Ugh! What did I do wrong that time?” she shouted frustratedly.
“Nothing, besides not dodging his extinction pulse. The tiny ones sometimes can’t handle the voltage and explode like that. It’s nothing to worry about, just let him stay in his harness and the girls at his next stop will discharge him. You’re not going to want to waste time with paperwork every time you blow a pair apart.”
“Waste time? How many am I going to test?”
“Well, that’s up to you. Comprehensive Batch Tests are run for a set amount of time. As long as the timer’s running, you’ll get new product and test subjects to keep working with.”
“Seriously?” Olivia tried not to salivate at the thought. The tests so far had been fun, especially getting to pull Little Dick Ludnick right out of the gene pool, but this was what she’d been hoping for at her OverEasy internship. An endless supply of men being rolled to her like sushi on boats, testicle after testicle being presented for her to boil their sperm away into uselessness.
She moved on to the remaining pair of testicles. Completely hairless and nearly perfectly smooth, they were as close to beautiful as a pair of testicles could be. Draped over, lying shyly like it was embarrassed of its own length, was an impressive cock, nearly six inches while fully soft, tightly circumcised with a fat pink head. It was about as attractive as the most disappointing, least important human organ could be. Olivia smiled up adoringly at the man.
“You have a beautiful cock, you know.”
“Please…please don’t do this.”
“Nice fat balls too. I don’t hate balls, you know. I quite like them.”
“You don’t have to.” His lip was quivering.
“Olivia, please finish this practice round so we can move on to the real test.”
“I think I do.”
“No no no no —-”
KRRRZZZKKK-ssssffft.
Olivia jammed the taser into his balls, making contact with both right on their unblemished front face. Then she dodged expertly out of the way as his cock stabbed the air and he shot his load too, squealing and shrieking, a massive load to send off his impressive manhood. Smiling, she looked to her supervisor for approval one last time.
“That’s perfect too. You’ve got the hang of it now. Just hit that button there to get your first round of real tests and start the timer.”
“Cool. It’s like a game!” said Olivia excitedly. She’d always been competitive.
“Olivia, this is a job. You’re going to be working, not playing, to advance the OverEasy mission. And as fun as it is, this is a life-changing event for any of the test subjects hoping to reproduce. Please take this seriously. Or, at least, try to pretend to take this seriously.”
“Oh, sorry,” she said, dejectedly. “So…there’s no leaderboard or anything?”
Cathy was silent for a second, then rolled her eyes.
“Okay, there’s a leaderboard,” she admitted. “But you are not beating my high score.
